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The Compleat Joss Whedon

October 26, 2009


This weekend was, at once, the weekend of the Web Ecology Project’s quarterly research conference, a Window 7 Launch Party, my 23rd birthday, and a screening of von Trier’s incredibly intense (and incredibly great) new film, “Antichrist.” Needless to say, it was crazy, awesome, exhausting, and full of metric shit-tons of enthusing things.

Saturday night, in the haze of all the excitement, a pun came to me when I was about to go to sleep.

It went like this —

“Sad to hear you got laid off man, what are you doing nowadays?”

“Not much, been sitting at home, mostly JOSS READIN”

Hilarious. And perfect for a serious bout of image macro shooping (see above).

It turns out that the pun is surprisingly extensible. I spent the rest of the weekend lovingly crafting more that I’ve aggregated in this post. I’m leaving them here to serve as a testament to the human condition, as a repository, and to solicit you, my way-cleverer readers, to comment and fill in any others that I’ve missed.

So, without further ado, the Compleat Joss Whedon, organized alphabetically, after the jump.

“Man, you just fell down the stairs, are you alright?”
“Yeah, it’s cool dude, I’m JOSS BLEEDIN”

“How are you doing in your arranged marriage, man?”
“It’s terrible. There’s a huge lack of feelings there, it’s like we’re JOSS BREEDIN”

“Nice! Monopoly! I love this game. How are you doing?”
“It’s early in the game, at this point, we’re JOSS DEEDIN”

“You’re looking pretty lame in those pocket protectors and tweed jackets”
“It’s my Halloween costume, man! I’m JOSS DWEEBIN”

“That X was great! Are you coming off your high?”
“Yeah, at this point, it’s pretty much JOSS FLEEDIN”

“Thinking about training to be a baker”
“It’s easy, JOSS KNEADIN”

“You should stay for a drink, man, haven’t seen you in awhile”
“It’s okay, we’re JOSS LEAHVIN”

“Ooh boy, is it a date?”
“Come on! We’re JOSS MEADIN”

“It’s spring, Farmer Brown, whatchu been up to?”

9 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2009 5:17 pm

    “That’s a nice bead necklace! Did you make it?”

    “Captain, where do we go now?”
    “Dont’ ask me! I’m JOSS LEADIN!”

  2. October 26, 2009 5:36 pm

    “Wow, a murder charge! Are you in the late stages of trial proceedings?”
    “Naw, man, I’m JOSS PLEADIN'”

  3. October 26, 2009 5:52 pm

    “Wait, I’m forgetting my Bible history. Adam and Eve lived in… Edenopolis?”
    “No, dude, it was JOSS EDEN.”

  4. October 26, 2009 6:01 pm

    “Wow, everyone on BitTorrent LOVES you- what have you been doing for them?”

  5. October 26, 2009 6:10 pm

    “Why did you kill my entire guild of level 10s? You’re level 80!”

  6. Liryon permalink
    October 26, 2009 7:31 pm

    “Did you plant any new flowers in your garden today?”
    “Naw, I’ve been JOSS WEEDIN”

    “Wash, how are you gonna get to Persephone without nav?”
    “I’ll stick to my JOSS HEADIN”

    “How are you gonna get the computational performance you’ll need?”

  7. October 27, 2009 9:46 am

    “Do you really want me to take you higher?”
    “No man I was JOSS CREEDIN”

    “Woah. It looks like somebody got tenure.”
    “No man. I’m JOSS TWEEDIN”

  8. October 27, 2009 4:20 pm

    “You’re pretty far off second base, man. Are you planning to steal third?”
    “Nah, I’m JOSS LEADIN.”

    “Vampires are totally dick for sucking peoples blood.”
    “Nah man, they’re JOSS FEEDIN.”

  9. October 28, 2009 2:54 am

    “Wow, those new office buildings of yours are incredibly energy efficient.”
    “Yeah, they’re JOSS LEEDIN.”

    “How come you’re paying so much attention to what I’m saying?”
    “I’m JOSS HEEDIN.”

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